Soccer Fan Blog

A new era.

 

We walked to the glorious Holy Ground looking forward to the start of British Summer Time but- in reality- still in the icy grasp of freeze your bollocks off winter and that our manager was OBE’d.

 

Out Before Easter.

 

There was a buzz when the teams emerged onto the pitch and they were greeted by less green plastic than in previous weeks. A clutch of photographers surrounded the bucket seated dug out awaiting the new man in temporary charge.

 

Out he came dressed in black, very fitting, and in a pair of Paddy McCourts boots. Johan sneaked in to the dugout, disappointingly, no longer looking like the warrior of old but resembling Basshunters older brother. I’d feared that he would appear wearing shorts going for  that ‘look at me I’m a coach and I’m hard’ look that only idiots go for.

 

When King Kenny took temporary charge his first game saw 6 centre backs taking the field in an effort to stiffen things up. Lennon’s first pick saw us a solid as Morning Glory but without the sight of an Alan Stubbs clone in the centre of midfield.

 

In came the Holy Goalie, Andy Hinkel, Scott Brown, Lee Naylor (!!!) and Solider Of Fortune for Cool Hand Luka, Mark Wislon, Ki, Braaheid and Gowser who all suffered a blow from the Lurgan Sword.

 

Whispers that we would be more ‘direct’ and that our footballing visions have been out-sourced to the cheaper Indian market proved unfounded. Yes, the ball was played to the frontmen quicker but it was no lobbed or hopeful it was considered and cutting.

 

It was purposeful attacking play, which beeped the barcode and got credited as attractive.

 

The full backs were reigned in and the centre mid were there to be destructive and water carriers. Up top Soldier Of Fortune was told to stay close to Keane and use his power in and around the box not out on Blue 6.

 

We had three chances in the first 2 and a half minutes. Our attackers played as attackers with pace, power and skill. There was no need for bombing on midfielders or full backs. Get the ball to the skillful ones quick enough and they have it in the locker to do the rest.

 

The pantomime villain in the black, Dougie McDonald, got both barrels from the support. Rightly so. But…he will be glad that he was a sideshow and I hope he sends Tony Mowbray a thank you card for that.

 

Let’s focus on the gooooood……

 

Robbie The Leprechaun scored his 10th and 11th of his loan feast goal feast. His first saw him get a spot on Soccer AM’s nutmeg files, not once but twice, before he chipped the potato into the deep fat fryer ensuring that Helen Chamberlin will be as moist as when she gets an 180 when describing his goal.

 

The second saw him Riverdance into the box. After a  bit of Chuckle Brother inspired, to me to you, he went past the defender and found the corner like a naughty school bhoy. The cartwheel followed and the golden Labrador behind the home dugout seemed to copy his celebration.

 

Never noticed that dog before. Is it there to keep the fox away or brought in to bark at Sammy when he looses interest?

 

The third is what we were promised by ToMo. A Kilmarnock corner was cleared to Keane who was standing halfway across the dancefloor waiting on the Slosh to come on.

 

Captain Caveman strolled forward took his order for the bar and passed it on to Aiden McGeady whose round it was anyway. McGeady carried on towards the bar before deciding that it was Captains Cavemans turn to take the drinks back to the table.

 

The round of 3 gin and tonics, a cola (for Captain Caveman as he was driving the goodship Celtic) and a Pink Flamingo, for Andy Hinkel, was expertly handed to the awaiting Captain who delivered them back to the table.

 

First midfielder to deliver a round since Massimo Donati.

 

While the goals were welcome there were a few decent performances. The Holy Goalie didn’t have much to do and at the goal he was caught by a freak deflection and gust of wind that would have done the most flatulent trouser trumpeter proud.

 

Lee Naylor returned to fire in dreadful crosses and set plays with all the Glee of a man that has seen off two left backs this season meaning that most are not bothered to see him return.

 

Over on the right, Hinkel liked that his role was defined and stuck manfully to the gameplan, in the middle Thompson proved that he likes the physical battle when at no time he has to think and play football while O’Dea was happy to get around un-noticed.

 

Brown and N’Guemo looked up to the task to being Lidils own-brand Lambert and Lennon while Aiden McGeady, ran, ran, ran, ran and shot wildly really enjoying his best game for an age.

 

Sammy gave a good account for the chicken hearted. I thought it said a lot that the person I thought would have been the first one left out due to having soiled undercrackers at the thought of a fight chased lost causes and while still doing orbits round the dark side of the moon looked more purposeful with the threat of death hanging over him.

 

All must see something we don’t.

 

The Solider Of Fortune was no longer a winger but asked to be a focal point of our attacks. This meant using his good designer gear in the box. Missed two sitters and will never be that marauding target man but his strength and savvy, used in the correct areas, is an asset most would give a right gonad for.

 

Or a left gonad.

 

We all know about Robbie.

 

On the way out the ground some were praising the changes Lenny made, granted, and I heard one WAG say it was great to see him standing in the technical area looking interested.

 

Easily pleased are some.

 

I’ll be more impressed if he earns his corn when we go 1-0 down. Beating Kilmarnock has proved easy for almost all Celtic managers in the last 60 years.

 

Even the terrible ones.

 

That’s worth remembering.